Coming Soon: Fifty Shades Darker

Becky Aurit · January 08, 2017 · 7:36 pm PST

This week I watched the trailer for "Fifty Shades Darker". Don't worry, it's a green band trailer, and this is the most PG review ever. I'm a classy gal, after all.

(Click on the title to watch the trailer)

Fifty Shades Darker

I'm probably one of the few 30-something women who has not read the "Fifty Shades" books. Surprisingly, when my friend offered to lend me "dirty Twilight knock-off fan fiction," I declined. I did see "Fifty Shades of Grey", but in my defense, I was bribed with tater tots. That means that I'm not entirely sure what this movie is about, aside from the obvious.

The first thing I noticed about the trailer for "Fifty Shades Darker" is that the entire thing is set to a cover of "Crazy in Love" by Beyoncé. One should not cover Beyoncé. It just shouldn't happen. Only Beyoncé can do Beyoncé.

Clearly, I have strong feelings about Beyoncé.

There are lots of shots of clothes and masks in this trailer, as well as Dakota Johnson and the guy from "The Fall" wearing clothes and masks. As a side note, if you haven't watched ‘The Fall" yet, you should. It is on Netflix, and Gillian Anderson is amazing in it.

About two thirds of the way through the trailer for "Fifty Shades Darker", Kim Basinger shows up. I'm not sure why, but who doesn't like Kim Basinger?

Finally, there are a couple of scenes in the trailer where a creepy woman shows up, says something creepy, and then disappears. I can only hope that means "Fifty Shades Darker" is taking a sharp turn from the first movie, and Dakota Johnson needs to fight a vengeful ghost. Vengeful ghost movies are my favorite type of horror movie.

After watching the trailer for "Fifty Shades Darker," it is going to take more than tater tots to get me too see this movie in the theater, unless I'm right about the vengeful ghost thing. Masks are creepy, and I hate Beyoncé covers. However, since "Fifty Shades of Grey" was such a huge hit, I'm not going to overlook "Fifty Shades Darker" for Fantasy Movie League purposes.


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