Is the Grass Really Greener? Summer19/11

@undecided_voter · Another Adapted Novel for President △
Aug 14, 2019, 4:57pm PDTEdited

Hello all, and apologies for missing a week. The grass is super thick at work and the lawn mower needs a lube job. But I am back with another fresh take sure to ruffle some feathers. This week we will look at the oldest of debates: cats vs dogs. I will say it up front, felines are for freaks, canines are for the cool kids.

As most of the temple is aware, I am a giant dog lover, having four myself. Dogs are friendly, playful, entertaining, protective, cuddly balls of joy. They offer so much more than cats. I have trained my dogs to not only pee and poop outside but one does complex tricks, one gets my newspaper every morning, and another goes on runs with me daily. They are the ultimate pets for any of your needs.

You want to know all you need to know about cats: Ancient Egyptians used them as the gatekeepers of hell because they knew that cats were very familiar with the landscape. Cats are boring, shy, poop in a box, scratch every thing and could not stop a fly if push came to shove. The only thing a cat is good for is puking up hairballs and making you have to empty a litter box regularly. Completely uncivilized creatures.

That is it. Dogs are awesome, cats are whatever the antonym of awesome is. Yes, I have owned and cared for both species so I speak from experience. If you ever have the option, choose wisely. As for a gameplay tip, 47 Meters Down Uncaged likely makes less than at least 3 other films on the slate (low hanging I know, but I am tired).


6 Replies

  • Reply #1

    You are cancelled.

    @the_hersh · The Hersh
    Aug 14, 2019, 5:20pm PDT
  • Reply #2

    I'd have never taken you for a cat guy @the_hersh. Shame, we could have been the best of friends.

    @undecided_voter · Another Adapted Novel for President △
    Aug 14, 2019, 5:29pm PDT
  • Reply #3

    GOAT stance: is the grass worthy?

    Hello everyone, Julius here, FML's favorite goat mascot. My role in this story is to decide whether UV's grass is worth to digest in its entirety.

    This week, we have the ole Cats vs Dogs debate. We have both at are farm. My masters are on opposite sides of the spectrum: he has always been a dog guy; she has always been a cat girl. Here are the Facts

    Cats are mostly autonomous. If they have food and clean litter they can take care of themselves all day. Doggos will **** on the floor.

    Cats kill creatures and bring them inside. The doggo doesn't do that.

    Cats claw at furniture and curtains despite a perfectly functioning scratch post. Doggos chew, give them a toy and they good.

    Cats have such a weird clock. Either they snooze for 5 hours straight or they zoom around at 3 AM. Doggos are on my owners clock.

    DOGGOS TERRORIZE GOATS. I adore the cats, but this little **** chases me around and attacks me on a daily basis.

    Grass Verdict: Perennial Ryegrass. Gonna use this one again, the real answer is neither. Its ALWAYS a goat.

    Box office Tidbit. BSA hot take is correct, but I'll go further. Meters isn't in top six

    @furiosa · Sir Julius
    Aug 14, 2019, 5:41pm PDT
  • Reply #4

    I'm tired of Dog movies. I like little dogs, however I can't stand big dogs. I'm a cat person. Cats are independent and I like not having to go outside so much in the winter when the dog needs to go to the bathroom bc it's so cold in Allison Park, PA during the winter season.

    @zman2018 · The Million Dollar Man Ted Debiose (R)
    Aug 14, 2019, 5:58pm PDT
  • Reply #5

    I dunno. I've had both and I'm starting to learn that perhaps I'm more of a kitty person than a doggo person. That could also be because kitty I've been watching this past week chases bats and mice and the puppers just runs away.

    @penny · Not Penny's Boat
    Aug 15, 2019, 7:37am PDT
  • Reply #6

    @bbh · BBH
    Aug 15, 2019, 2:05pm PDT
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