A Transmission from the Resistance - Summer 2019, Week 1

@walt · Walt's Vault (R)
Jun 7, 2019, 10:29am PDT

Begin transmission:


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Operator: Good day, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Summer 2019 Week 1 Financial Outlook and Groupthink thread. My name is Hardin Long, and I will be your coordinator for today. As a reminder, this conference is being recorded. I would now like to turn the call over to your host, Mr. Tom Morrow, Señor Director of Number Fudging. Mr. Morrow, you may now proceed.


Mr. Morrow: Thank you, Hardin and good afternoon everyone. Welcome to The Resistance's first week of Summer 2019 Groupthink thread. I am joined today by The Secret Life of Pets, A Dog's Journey, Avengers Endgame, and a number of other films.
During this call, we will discuss our FML outlook and make forward-looking statements. These comments are based on our predictions and expectations as of today. Actual events or results could differ materially due to a number of risks and uncertainties. During the question-and-answer portion of today's thread, please limit yourself to one question and one follow-up.


First we'll hear from The Secret Life of Pets.


SLOP2: Bark! Roo, bark woof, bark, growl woof woof, bark roo. Roo woof, bark, bwoof, bark, snort? Bark bark, woof. Bark, barky bark, sniff, roo, howl, growl, barky barky barky. Woof.


A Dog's Journey: Bark! Sniff, sniff, sniff.


SLOP2: Sniffy sniffy.


A Dog's Journey: Sniffy sniffy. Bark! Barky barky woof 181 drive-ins?


SLOP2: 181 drive-ins! Bark barky, woof bark woof barky! Howl?


A Dog's Journey: Howl.


Mr. Morrow: Howl indeed. Thank you to The Secret Life of Pets and A Dog's Journey. I see a bright future ahead for our canine friends.


Operator: Now to a Mrs. Gana Sakituya with a question.


Mrs. Sakituya: Hi, I was wondering how A Dog's Journey plans to drop less than 55% after they dropped 73.08% last week, and are losing 76% of showings this week? Do they think the drive-ins will have enough of an impact to facilitate that?


A Dog's Journey: whimper


Operator: Another question, to Bharat from Mr. Kari Atune.


Mr. Atune: Bharat, I have a contact in the Irish Ministry of Robotics who published a report earlier this week detailing the positive correlation between Eid al-Fitr and movies targeted at key demographics in that space. Can you expand on that?


Bharat: Sure. My colleague Mr. Sink just handed me a report from India showing that I'm now the biggest Eid opening for a Salman Khan movie ever at 42.3 crores, which is about 6.11 million dollars. I think, given that positive information, your Irish friend may be correct in his assessment. However, it will be interesting to see how we fare with our American business partners, especially if we use my predecessor, Kalank, as a case study.


Mr. Atune: Follow-up question. Didn't I kill Salman Khan with a fan in Hitman 2?


Bharat: Sorry, I'm not quite sure I know what you mean.


Mr. Morrow: Excellent response. Thank you Bharat. Next we have Aladdin.


Aladdin: I think our numbers speak for themselves:


  • 75 golden camels
  • 53 purple peacocks
  • 95 white Persian monkeys


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But seriously, we feel like we're in our prime here in Agrabah. We're going into our third week full steam ahead and have achieved a minimal 15% loss in theaters. Most of my colleagues here at the House of Mouse have done the same, with the only exception being Dumbo. Let's be honest, elephants were meant for riding, not flying, am I right?
In addition, none of our live action remakes have dropped more than 52% going into their third week, and those who had rough second weeks ended up rebounding significantly. Our dailies are also fantastic. I'd say you should consider making way for Prince Ali, because he might just make it this week.

8 Replies

  • Reply #1

    Mr. Morrow: Thank you Aladdin. Next up we have Dark Phoenix.


    Dark Phoenix: ...people are just mad because Sansa spoke her mind on Twitter. Oh. Wait. Is this on? Ok.
    So, it's looking like rough seas for us this weekend, but we'll push through and see where we get. Early review scores have us disappointed. Not as disappointed as Jennifer was when she realized the blue paint was making a comeback, but at least her make-up artist was happy. We're probably priced out of contention. Wait for previews. Or whatever. I have to get my résumé ready.


    Operator: Question from Ms. Agnes Pellbottom.


    Ms. Pellbottom: Can you provide some color on ticket sales so far? Perhaps they reflect positively?


    Dark Phoenix: We have plenty of colors. There's various shades of blue and orange on the poster. Those are the only two you really need… Oh. You meant something else. Ticket sales are positive, that's for sure. Better than Kevin Hart and the gang, at least.


    Operator: Mr. Morrow, we're running short of time. We can take one more.


    Mr. Morrow: How about we hear from Ma?


    Ma: Listen, I already have three street rats and four dogs in my basement, so that just leaves room for me. What else are you going to play? I want some of that sweet drive-in upside from the dogs. Now come on down next week and get some popsicles and beers.


    Mr. Morrow: We'll do that, Ma. Thanks for sharing. If anyone would like information on Ma's address for your restraining order paperwork, please let me know. That's going to wrap up our call this afternoon. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.





    For the boring old baseball fans who don't like bat flips or skits or fun or sunshine, here's our group's slate breakdown. Dog's Journey probably has the highest ceiling of the week because of the absurd number of drive-ins it got. Aladdin and Avengers look to be the next two best options (some of the new release numbers obviously didn't get adjusted after previews). Knowing that most of FML was going to play the dogs, it didn't make a ton of sense to go contrarian and risk falling behind 1,000+ players to start the season.


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    End Transmission



    @walt · Walt's Vault (R)
    Jun 7, 2019, 10:29am PDT
  • Reply #2

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    @william_fn_wallace · The Governo(R)
    Jun 7, 2019, 10:36am PDT
  • Reply #3

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    @william_fn_wallace · The Governo(R)
    Jun 7, 2019, 10:36am PDT
  • Reply #4

    Woof 🐶

    @pastesale · Pastelandia (R)
    Jun 7, 2019, 12:00pm PDT
  • Reply #5

    Well done sir!

    @jakthird · jakthird (R)
    Jun 7, 2019, 12:05pm PDT
  • Reply #6

    image


    Bravo 👏

    @me_and_musk_on_marzz · The Old Crow Picture Show
    Jun 7, 2019, 12:59pm PDT
  • Reply #7

    Well done Resistance!!!

    @hmg · Hoosier Movie Guy
    Jun 7, 2019, 1:05pm PDT
  • Reply #8

    Yasssssss!
    Take that ya damn bah humbuggars!

    @sonyawolf · Wolf Cinemas (R)
    Jun 8, 2019, 3:44am PDT
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